Post Phone Call-CRAZY DAY!

Well Friends, I hope you are sitting down for this post! We ended up talking to Jessica, her youth director, and the social worker a little after noon, instead of 11:00. Jessica didn't talk at first. The social worker just talked for her in the beginning, but she asked us the questions eventually. We were asked to tell our adoption journey so far, what our family values are, how we discipline, and what is one word each of us would describe our relationship with Hudson. These were easy questions for us, and I think we answered them well.

THEN, the social worker asked if anyone has told us about Jessica's doctor visit that she had on Monday. We told her no because Saturday was the last time we had heard from them. Jessica had an ultra sound on Monday that revealed a third baby! Yes, 3. However, they could not find a heartbeat for the third baby. Jessica is supposed to go back on Monday at 10:00am to get another ultra sound. She is saying that the doctor told her that if the third baby is not alive that she will have a c-section sometime next week. We, however, feel that she must have been told that a c-section is a possibility, not definite. I have spoken to my OB. She said that they're are a few reasons why they may do a c-section, but they won't do it if it's not absolutely necessary. Since they let her leave on Monday, there is no reason right now to do it. Jessica is only 27 weeks.

This afternoon, the social worker called back to talk to me without Jessica. She said we did really great with all of our answers. Jessica is very untrusting and very hard to read. She doesn't say much at all, and there are a lot of unknowns. She just told the agency this week her last name and address. All that to say, Jessica gave us her email address at the end of the conversation. The social worker said she was shocked! We think this is very positive because had she not liked us, she wouldn't have given it to us. I want to email her this evening to tell her we enjoyed talking to her, but my last name will show up in her inbox. She isn't supposed to know that. I've got to create a new address or figure out how to take my last name off.

Jessica has two requests that we are going to have to pray about and really process. One is that she wants to name the babies. They aren't terrible names. They just aren't the ones we have chosen. She told the social worker that their names are the only thing that she can give them. We really want to stick with "H" names, and we've decided on Hayden and Harrison. She likes Caden, Aiden, Jacob, and Zachery. We'll think about it... The other thing that she told us was that she wants to be able to see them once a year. We told her that we would have to pray about that and would do what we felt was best for the children.

At this point, there are still no other families. They have tried to get her to look at other profiles, and she won't. However, she has not 100% decided to go through with the adoption. The social worker said she would be so surprised if she didn't go through with it. Jessica is very intelligent and mature for her age. She knows that it would be almost impossible for her to raise two or maybe three babies. She would have absolutely no help. She has told the social worker over and over again, "I just can't do it." Meaning, raise two babies. It's just a really hard decision, as you can imagine.

Now, here are a few pieces of the story that you may not know. Several people have hesitated but asked me this week what race Jessica is. Since we're open to any race, I haven't realized that I haven't ever shared that part. Jessica is white. She has blonde hair and blue eyes. All I know about the birth father is that he is also white. Jessica's parents got divorced when she was really little. Her father remarried a lady from the Philippines, and Jessica lived there from the time she was four years old until she graduated from high school. She actually has an accent. She is no longer considering Juilliard. She plans to move back to the Philippines as soon as she can after the babies are born.

Sometime after the phone call, Jessica texted the social worker and said, "I know I have to decide soon." We really hope that she does. With a strong possibility that these babies will be born early and have to stay in the NICU, we would like to have an idea of what that will look like for us. As soon as she signs the paper giving up her rights, which I have just found out can be anytime after giving birth and only in front of a lawyer not a judge, we will be able to go to the hospital. However, if the babies are in the NICU for 2 months, she could take all that time to still be deciding. I'm trying to be patient and unselfish, but I feel like we need to know one way or another. If those are our children, we should be with them. I said this to the social worker and she said, "You're not their mommy until you're their mommy." This felt a little harsh to me. I mean, are we supposed to just act like none of this is happening? She is wanting to know every detail about us to make sure we will be good parents. I think we wouldn't be very good parents if our attitude was, "Until they're our children, it's not our problem to be concerned with." I am praying for peace in all of this. It's sooo hard, but we knew it would be. Ultimately, we know that God is in control, but right now, waiting for the end result is painful.

So let me recap what we are specifically praying for:
1. Jessica-that she stays healthy, that she can make the right decision, and for her emotional well being.
2. The babies-that they are healthy and can stay longer in the womb.
3. That a decision will be made soon so that we will have some clarity of what all this will look like for us.
4. That if this is going to happen so soon, God will provide what we need financially a lot quicker.
5. For Hudson-that he doesn't feel any of the stress we are going through.
6. For us-that we find peace in the midst of all of this and just enjoy being a family, especially at this wonderful time of year.

Thank you for taking the time to read all of this, and thanks for all the prayers! We really feel loved right now. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful caring people during this journey!

With Much Love,
Andrea

Quick Update

I'm typing from my phone so this will be quick! We aren't going to IN tomorrow. We got a call from the agency on Saturday saying that Jessica (birth mom) decided she feels more comfortable with a phone call. No worries! Nothing has changed. She's just not ready to meet. She may never want to meet and that's ok. Lot's of birth mom's never meet the family they choose. Jessica is calling us at 11:00 tomorrow morning. Take a moment then to say a prayer for us! I'll update sometime tomorrow after the call!
Excited and nervous,
Andrea

We Can't Believe It!

Hello Friends!!
Good News!!!!! We got a call today from the adoption agency. Jessica with the twins has chosen us! My mom and Adam are actually the ones that talked to the agency. Of course, I wasn't at home and my cell phone was in the car charging! As we understand it, Jessica has chosen us, wants to meet us, and her father is no longer an issue. Praise God!!! The plan right now is for us to go to meet her in Evansville, IN next Friday. She wants to meet Hudson, too. So we'll all be going! We are so excited, but we're trying to remember that anything can happen. She can certainly change her mind, but the agency seems really hopeful that it's going to work out. Please pray that it will, and especially pray for us next Friday. We'll be so nervous! Or at least I will!

TWINS! My head is spinning right now! We've been talking about names for the past couple of hours. I think we've got one for sure, but we're trying to decide on the second. Originally, we wanted all "H" names, but we can't find 2 that we like, only one. Suggestions are welcome! We'll also take any advice from anyone with twins. I'm sure we'll need all the help we can get! :)

Thank you so much for all the prayers and support. We hope to have two precious baby boys in March!

Excited and Still Praying,
Andrea

P.S. The home visit went really well. Hudson took the social worker straight to his room, handed her a guitar, sat down at his keyboard, and gave her a four count!!

2 is better than one, right?!!

Hi Friends,
Some of you already know, but a couple of weeks ago we got a call about a girl in Indiana who is pregnant with TWIN boys. I haven't blogged about this one because it gets harder and harder to type it out and then be disappointed. We REALLY need your prayers, though!! This is still almost unbelievable to me. The birth mom, Jessica, is due with twin boys in March. She wants an open adoption, meaning pictures, emails, phone calls, and possibly meeting us. Her biggest priority is that the family go to a non-denominational Christian church. We do!! And are you ready for this? SHE IS A SINGER!! Obviously, music is very important to her so the fact that we are musical is icing on the cake! We have a letter to the birth mom in our profile, but I wrote her a specific letter so that she would know all the things we do to encourage music. Of course, I told her that we would in no way be disappointed if the boys weren't musical at all, but I know it means a lot to her to know that we will be very supportive if they are.

So...I just got off the phone with the adoption agency. We are the ONLY family that she is willing to consider! The problem is, her father wants her to parent. He works the night shift. Jessica has a 7 year old brother that she is having to raise, and her mother is deceased. She's only 17, and she is auditioning for Juilliard in New York. Raising 2 babies would be so difficult for her, and she would definitely not get into Juilliard. There are some other things in this story that I really don't want to share, but it would be terrible for the boys to grow up in that family. PLEASE, PLEASE pray that Jessica's father will change his mind. Since she's 17, he may have the right to get the boys himself. I'm not sure. They aren't speaking right now, but they are supposed to go to church together on Sunday. Since she's not due until March, this may be a roller coaster ride for us until then. Just keep us in your prayers!! I guess we'll have to have two puzzles now so buy some pieces if you haven't already! :)


Also, pray for us this afternoon. The social worker doing our home study is making the actual "home" visit at 2:30. Our house has never been so clean! She's really coming to make sure it's safe and to meet Hudson, though. I hope she's ready for a concert! I'll let you know how it goes.

Thanks for keeping up with our journey!

Praying Without Ceasing,
Andrea

Moving On...

I talked to the lawyer this afternoon. Everything looked like we wanted it to from a legal stand point. The lawyer called Tim, the birth father, and he told him that they had already chosen a family. We are of course disappointed, but we're so thankful that we found out now and not way into it. We got all of our medical tests done today. I have my individual interview with our social worker tomorrow morning. Things are still moving a long, and we are still excited that God has a plan for us!

Today Hudson asked me for some money. I gave him 50 cents, and he told me that he was giving it for the baby. I asked him who he was giving it to and he said, "I'm giving it to God. Will He be at our house today?". Oh, he fills my heart with joy! I'm thanking God for those little moments, and thanking Him that He WILL be at our house today and everyday through it all!

Much Love,
Andrea

Lots To Report!!!

Hi Friends,

It's been a while since we've had any news, but we finally have something to share! So, we were never called about the baby in Indiana due December 8th. However, because of that situation, we have done everything to get our home study done as quickly as possible. It should be done in about 4 weeks! We're using an agency here that has a lot less requirements, and it's less expensive. We had our first home study interview on Monday. It went really well, and we left feeling a lot less overwhelmed about the process.

On our way home from the interview, I received a call from a friend about another baby. Her husband is a Christian music artist. While he was signing autographs a few weeks ago, he met a guy named Tim who said his girlfriend was pregnant, and they are planning on choosing adoption for the baby. My friend's husband told Tim that he knew a family that might be interested and got his contact information. At the time, he was talking about his family because they are wanting to adopt, but Tim doesn't know that. They had an attorney call and talk to the him about everything, but they have decided that it's not the right time for them to adopt a baby. They have let the attorney know that they aren't moving forward, but they want him to tell Tim that WE are the family that they are recommending! I spoke with the attorney today. The baby will be born in Nebraska so right now the attorney is finding out if he will be able to represent us. We're hoping to do this without an agency. I'm supposed to call on Monday to see if he will be able to do it. If so, he will call Tim and let him know about us. If not, he will give us Tim's contact information, and we will decide what to do from there. The baby is a boy due January 24th, and Nebraska has great adoption laws. Papers can be signed within 48 hours of birth, and it is irrevocable at that point!

In the midst of all of this, I have called the agency in Indiana to let them know that another couple might be considering us. They said that the birth mother that they showed our profile to has still not made a decision. The mother of the birth father does not want the baby to be adopted. The birth mother and father are both 15. The mother of the birth father is creating a lot of drama and making this all very stressful for the birth mother. The agency said that it's a really bad situation and to pray for the birth parents to choose adoption. Anything is possible, but I am very doubtful that baby will be placed with us. However, as I said before, that situation has put us in a much better place in the process than we were, and we are thankful for that!!

Of course, we are trying to not get too excited, but this does seem a little more promising than the Indiana situation. To my knowledge, the couple in Nebraska have not considered any families, yet. However, they have contacted an agency so they will probably look at some other profiles. We do have a really good recommendation, though. :) Really, God is in control, and we have faith in His plan for us! Please pray for our patience and peace right now. It's really hard to not be anxious.

We have lots of puzzle pieces left so please get one! We hope to have names on all of them! Click on the "donate" button below to buy your piece. Also, several of our friends with home businesses have been so generous in wanting to help us raise money by giving part of their proceeds to the adoption.

I will be having a Pampered Chef party next Thursday, and anyone can come. If you can't and want to order something here's the order instructions from the Pampered Chef sales director:

If you can't attend and would like to order. You can contact Andrea or you can order online at www.pamperedchef.biz/betsyturnage and click on order online and then type in Andrea Davis as the host and SHOP AWAY!


Another friend is a Thirty One consultant. Her website is http://www.mythirtyone.com/JenHartman/. Such cute stuff! I'm not exactly sure what the instructions are for ordering from her. Just let me know if you want something, and I will find out.

Today, a Mary Kay friend of mine said that she would give me 100% of the profits from any orders that I can get. Just go to www.marykay.com and look at their products. Let me know if you want to order, and I will get it done!

I also have a friend who wants to do some fund raising for us through Tupperware. They have a special selection specifically for fund raising. However, I don't see how to view it online. I'll find out!

Sooooo, do all your Christmas shopping right here! :)

THANK YOU SO MUCH to those who have already supported us!! We feel so loved and blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives.

Much Love,
Andrea

All I know right now...

In my last blog, I said that if we didn't hear anything Thursday night, we probably weren't picked. Well, it seems I don't ask enough questions to even know how this works! First of all, I got an email on Friday saying that they got all my updates and would show the birth mom. I don't even think she saw anything on Thursday night. I just got off the phone with the agency secretary. She said that she wasn't sure that they even looked at profiles at the last appointment. She hasn't spoken to the lady who is working with the birth mom, but she said that if someone was chosen, she would have been notified. It seems to me that at this point, she hasn't made a decision, and we haven't been ruled out. I do know now that she wants a childless family, but the only childless families they have don't want open adoptions. I guess she will have to decide which is more important to her. We haven't written our letter to the birth mom, yet. We're going to get that done today. Hopefully, we can convince her or any other birth mom that we will love all our children the same. We also hope they understand that even though they won't be choosing a family with no children, they are choosing a family with a little boy whose parents can't give him any siblings, and he really wants some! We will be called as soon as they know if we are chosen or not chosen so NO call means NO news. I will keep repeating that to myself! Thank you again for all the prayers and support. We feel very loved!
Patiently Waiting,
Andrea