First let me say that we appreciate so much all the calls, texts, emails, and messages that we have gotten. We know that no matter what happens, we are surrounded by so many people that love us. Your prayers are definitely felt!
For anyone that is finding out for the first time, Jessica was never pregnant. She has been lying the whole time. Apparently, this is the third time she has done this. There are so many parts to this story that could still be true, but we'll never know. Jessica claimed to have be severely abused, and she said that the birth father of the babies was her step-father. We've known that the whole time. She has told the agency a lot of terrible very detailed stories of the abuse and rapes. Supposedly, the step-father is in federal prison because of raping her sister who has been pregnant twice. If she is telling the truth about the abuse or not, she is a very sick little girl.
She called the social worker (SW) last night and told her that she was in labor. The SW told her that she was coming to get her and take her to the hospital. Jessica told her not to so the SW told her that she was calling an ambulance. So Jessica told her to just come get her. When they got to the hospital, they put the monitors on her stomach and couldn't hear the heartbeats. They sent her to get an ultrasound immediately thinking something was wrong with the babies. When she had the ultrasound, there were no babies. The SW says that she has appeared to be pregnant the whole time and even looked pregnant when she lifted her shirt for the ultrasound. A doctor came in and told her to let go of her muscles, and her stomach went flat. She's only 5'1" and weighs 98lbs so somehow she pulled this off. They figured out she was also lying about her age because there was no hospital record for her with her birthdate. She admitted to lying about that and said she was only 14. We all thought she was 17. She still says that she really thought she was pregnant. She even emailed me to tell me that she really thought she was and that she was sorry. I told her that she needed help and that we would continue to pray for her. I have now blocked her email address.
I know that severe trauma can do terrible things to your mental health, and it could have very well happened to this girl. If it is mental illness, she is schizophrenic with delusions of grandeur and has a multiple personality disorder. If she truly believed that she was pregnant, then an alter ego printed out ultrasounds from the internet and manipulated them to look like hers. They had her name, the hospital name, the date, etc. They looked real! She's also apparently created a girl named Carley who is pregnant, too. She denies that she is Carley, but she gave Carley's email address to the agency and has been corresponding with them only in that way.
I could go on and on about all the crazy things this story now entails, but we must move on. I feel so sad for Jessica. Right now, Adam is angry, but I am truly sad for this little girl. I think my Psychology background makes me see this a lot different than Adam does. I think most of his anger has been in fear of me being so disappointed. I am, but I am also feeling some relief. It was getting very overwhelming. We knew that she was refusing to be on bed rest and could go into labor at anytime. All of a sudden twins in March turned into three very pre-mature babies at anytime. I was prepared to move forward if it was God's plan, but there were moments when I was terrified of what that meant for our family. We want another child so bad, but honestly, if the situation causes us to take time away from Hudson and change his life drastically, we don't want to do it. I had a moment before the news of no babies when I thought if I knew all of this before, would I choose it? Having an only child seemed much easier to me, but I also know that God won't give us something we can't handle. I was just terrified.
This has turned out to be a devastating situation, but we have learned so much from it. To make sure Jessica didn't change her mind, we were starting to compromise a little. We also realized that we have put some "yeses" on our application that for us should really be "no's". This situation has shown me that we need to really consider what is best for our family and stick to that. We can no longer be afraid to say no to some things. Because I was so upset about some of Jessica's requests, I cried all Sunday morning at church and went to ask for guidance from our children's minister who is over the adoption ministry. He put me in contact with a wonderful woman who is about to adopt for the fifth time. With one phone call, she has already given me so much wisdom and peace about decisions that have to be made, and I am so thankful for that.
I pray that in all of this, Jessica has felt God's love through us and the adoption agency. I pray also that she will get some help. My heart is truly broken for this girl. Adoption agencies have money alloted for their birth moms' needs, and Jessica turned down most if not all of what they offered her. This makes me think that it was not some scam. She obviously needs love and attention that she's not getting anywhere else.
I don't know why we have lost two biological babies, and I don't know why we now have to feel like we have lost three more. What I do know is that God knows. He knows why all these things have happened to us. He knows His plan for us, and when we do have a precious baby to bring home, we will say it was all worth it. My momma said God gave us a test, and we passed. I hope so.
Moving On,
Andrea
The Davis Family
Tuesday, December 21, 2010
Saturday, December 18, 2010
So much in a few hours!
Right after I typed the previous blog, I got a call from the friend that recommended the agency in Indiana to us. She and her husband in IN right now with a new baby boy! He was born on Monday, the papers were signed on Tuesday, and the judge removed parental rights on Wednesday. They are hoping to be able to come home next week. That is very quick and encouraging! They said that the hospital there is really nice, and they were very well taken care of. We talked a lot about our experience with the agency, and she had some of the same frustrations that I have. I felt a lot better after talking to her.
When I got off the phone, I had received an email from Jessica. It was WONDERFUL! She was very open and honest and gave a lot more information than I thought she would. She is such an amazing person, and I am so glad that we are going to connect. This is one part of the email:
"... just thinking of them being placed in your arms makes me speechless and I just want what's best, and I know that you will find the joy in these babies, and I think if I would keep them then it would make me too upset knowing there is people as nice as you to take care of them. You really seem like great people and at first it was hard for me to admit that because I still have to wrap my mind around someone else taking care of God's gift."
We've emailed back and forth a few times. She wants to see pictures of our house so I made her a slideshow. AND, she sent me the 4D ultra sound pictures of the 3 babies. So I got to see them!!! Of course, I've just been staring at them and crying. One of them has his little hands over his eyes. It is so sweet.
I'm so thankful to be communicating with Jessica right now. This has changed a lot!
Feeling Good Right Now,
Andrea
When I got off the phone, I had received an email from Jessica. It was WONDERFUL! She was very open and honest and gave a lot more information than I thought she would. She is such an amazing person, and I am so glad that we are going to connect. This is one part of the email:
"... just thinking of them being placed in your arms makes me speechless and I just want what's best, and I know that you will find the joy in these babies, and I think if I would keep them then it would make me too upset knowing there is people as nice as you to take care of them. You really seem like great people and at first it was hard for me to admit that because I still have to wrap my mind around someone else taking care of God's gift."
We've emailed back and forth a few times. She wants to see pictures of our house so I made her a slideshow. AND, she sent me the 4D ultra sound pictures of the 3 babies. So I got to see them!!! Of course, I've just been staring at them and crying. One of them has his little hands over his eyes. It is so sweet.
I'm so thankful to be communicating with Jessica right now. This has changed a lot!
Feeling Good Right Now,
Andrea
The Morning After
This morning the words of a song Hudson loves to sing are going through my head. "My God is so BIG, so STRONG, and so MIGHTY-There's NOTHING my God cannot do!" Right now, He knows what is best for our family. He's not waiting to hear from the doctors. He's not waiting for Jessica to make a decision. He already knows. He is not surprised by any of this, and I am resting in that right now. Adam and I along with Jessica want nothing but what is best for these babies. We are all praying for God's will. So I know whatever the outcome, that is what it should be.
My very first solo was at First United Methodist Church in Clarksdale, MS. We were doing a play called "Down By The Creek Bank". I know some of you reading this were either in it or had a child that was. I will never forget the words to the song that I sang. "I am adopted. I'm a special kid, you see. I'm proud to be a member of a royal family. My Father owns a kingdom. He sits upon His throne. He gives me EVERYTHING I need. It's nice to not be 'lone!" He IS my Father, and HE loves me more than I can even imagine.
I sent Jessica an email this morning. I'm hoping to hear back from her soon. It's very comforting to me that she wants direct contact. I'm praying that she finds it easy to communicate with me. She doesn't open up to the agency very well. I am thankful to be a part of her story, even if it's only to pray for her and show God's love in a way that she may never have experienced it before.
Resting In Him,
Andrea
My very first solo was at First United Methodist Church in Clarksdale, MS. We were doing a play called "Down By The Creek Bank". I know some of you reading this were either in it or had a child that was. I will never forget the words to the song that I sang. "I am adopted. I'm a special kid, you see. I'm proud to be a member of a royal family. My Father owns a kingdom. He sits upon His throne. He gives me EVERYTHING I need. It's nice to not be 'lone!" He IS my Father, and HE loves me more than I can even imagine.
I sent Jessica an email this morning. I'm hoping to hear back from her soon. It's very comforting to me that she wants direct contact. I'm praying that she finds it easy to communicate with me. She doesn't open up to the agency very well. I am thankful to be a part of her story, even if it's only to pray for her and show God's love in a way that she may never have experienced it before.
Resting In Him,
Andrea
Friday, December 17, 2010
Post Phone Call-CRAZY DAY!
Well Friends, I hope you are sitting down for this post! We ended up talking to Jessica, her youth director, and the social worker a little after noon, instead of 11:00. Jessica didn't talk at first. The social worker just talked for her in the beginning, but she asked us the questions eventually. We were asked to tell our adoption journey so far, what our family values are, how we discipline, and what is one word each of us would describe our relationship with Hudson. These were easy questions for us, and I think we answered them well.
THEN, the social worker asked if anyone has told us about Jessica's doctor visit that she had on Monday. We told her no because Saturday was the last time we had heard from them. Jessica had an ultra sound on Monday that revealed a third baby! Yes, 3. However, they could not find a heartbeat for the third baby. Jessica is supposed to go back on Monday at 10:00am to get another ultra sound. She is saying that the doctor told her that if the third baby is not alive that she will have a c-section sometime next week. We, however, feel that she must have been told that a c-section is a possibility, not definite. I have spoken to my OB. She said that they're are a few reasons why they may do a c-section, but they won't do it if it's not absolutely necessary. Since they let her leave on Monday, there is no reason right now to do it. Jessica is only 27 weeks.
This afternoon, the social worker called back to talk to me without Jessica. She said we did really great with all of our answers. Jessica is very untrusting and very hard to read. She doesn't say much at all, and there are a lot of unknowns. She just told the agency this week her last name and address. All that to say, Jessica gave us her email address at the end of the conversation. The social worker said she was shocked! We think this is very positive because had she not liked us, she wouldn't have given it to us. I want to email her this evening to tell her we enjoyed talking to her, but my last name will show up in her inbox. She isn't supposed to know that. I've got to create a new address or figure out how to take my last name off.
Jessica has two requests that we are going to have to pray about and really process. One is that she wants to name the babies. They aren't terrible names. They just aren't the ones we have chosen. She told the social worker that their names are the only thing that she can give them. We really want to stick with "H" names, and we've decided on Hayden and Harrison. She likes Caden, Aiden, Jacob, and Zachery. We'll think about it... The other thing that she told us was that she wants to be able to see them once a year. We told her that we would have to pray about that and would do what we felt was best for the children.
At this point, there are still no other families. They have tried to get her to look at other profiles, and she won't. However, she has not 100% decided to go through with the adoption. The social worker said she would be so surprised if she didn't go through with it. Jessica is very intelligent and mature for her age. She knows that it would be almost impossible for her to raise two or maybe three babies. She would have absolutely no help. She has told the social worker over and over again, "I just can't do it." Meaning, raise two babies. It's just a really hard decision, as you can imagine.
Now, here are a few pieces of the story that you may not know. Several people have hesitated but asked me this week what race Jessica is. Since we're open to any race, I haven't realized that I haven't ever shared that part. Jessica is white. She has blonde hair and blue eyes. All I know about the birth father is that he is also white. Jessica's parents got divorced when she was really little. Her father remarried a lady from the Philippines, and Jessica lived there from the time she was four years old until she graduated from high school. She actually has an accent. She is no longer considering Juilliard. She plans to move back to the Philippines as soon as she can after the babies are born.
Sometime after the phone call, Jessica texted the social worker and said, "I know I have to decide soon." We really hope that she does. With a strong possibility that these babies will be born early and have to stay in the NICU, we would like to have an idea of what that will look like for us. As soon as she signs the paper giving up her rights, which I have just found out can be anytime after giving birth and only in front of a lawyer not a judge, we will be able to go to the hospital. However, if the babies are in the NICU for 2 months, she could take all that time to still be deciding. I'm trying to be patient and unselfish, but I feel like we need to know one way or another. If those are our children, we should be with them. I said this to the social worker and she said, "You're not their mommy until you're their mommy." This felt a little harsh to me. I mean, are we supposed to just act like none of this is happening? She is wanting to know every detail about us to make sure we will be good parents. I think we wouldn't be very good parents if our attitude was, "Until they're our children, it's not our problem to be concerned with." I am praying for peace in all of this. It's sooo hard, but we knew it would be. Ultimately, we know that God is in control, but right now, waiting for the end result is painful.
So let me recap what we are specifically praying for:
1. Jessica-that she stays healthy, that she can make the right decision, and for her emotional well being.
2. The babies-that they are healthy and can stay longer in the womb.
3. That a decision will be made soon so that we will have some clarity of what all this will look like for us.
4. That if this is going to happen so soon, God will provide what we need financially a lot quicker.
5. For Hudson-that he doesn't feel any of the stress we are going through.
6. For us-that we find peace in the midst of all of this and just enjoy being a family, especially at this wonderful time of year.
Thank you for taking the time to read all of this, and thanks for all the prayers! We really feel loved right now. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful caring people during this journey!
With Much Love,
Andrea
THEN, the social worker asked if anyone has told us about Jessica's doctor visit that she had on Monday. We told her no because Saturday was the last time we had heard from them. Jessica had an ultra sound on Monday that revealed a third baby! Yes, 3. However, they could not find a heartbeat for the third baby. Jessica is supposed to go back on Monday at 10:00am to get another ultra sound. She is saying that the doctor told her that if the third baby is not alive that she will have a c-section sometime next week. We, however, feel that she must have been told that a c-section is a possibility, not definite. I have spoken to my OB. She said that they're are a few reasons why they may do a c-section, but they won't do it if it's not absolutely necessary. Since they let her leave on Monday, there is no reason right now to do it. Jessica is only 27 weeks.
This afternoon, the social worker called back to talk to me without Jessica. She said we did really great with all of our answers. Jessica is very untrusting and very hard to read. She doesn't say much at all, and there are a lot of unknowns. She just told the agency this week her last name and address. All that to say, Jessica gave us her email address at the end of the conversation. The social worker said she was shocked! We think this is very positive because had she not liked us, she wouldn't have given it to us. I want to email her this evening to tell her we enjoyed talking to her, but my last name will show up in her inbox. She isn't supposed to know that. I've got to create a new address or figure out how to take my last name off.
Jessica has two requests that we are going to have to pray about and really process. One is that she wants to name the babies. They aren't terrible names. They just aren't the ones we have chosen. She told the social worker that their names are the only thing that she can give them. We really want to stick with "H" names, and we've decided on Hayden and Harrison. She likes Caden, Aiden, Jacob, and Zachery. We'll think about it... The other thing that she told us was that she wants to be able to see them once a year. We told her that we would have to pray about that and would do what we felt was best for the children.
At this point, there are still no other families. They have tried to get her to look at other profiles, and she won't. However, she has not 100% decided to go through with the adoption. The social worker said she would be so surprised if she didn't go through with it. Jessica is very intelligent and mature for her age. She knows that it would be almost impossible for her to raise two or maybe three babies. She would have absolutely no help. She has told the social worker over and over again, "I just can't do it." Meaning, raise two babies. It's just a really hard decision, as you can imagine.
Now, here are a few pieces of the story that you may not know. Several people have hesitated but asked me this week what race Jessica is. Since we're open to any race, I haven't realized that I haven't ever shared that part. Jessica is white. She has blonde hair and blue eyes. All I know about the birth father is that he is also white. Jessica's parents got divorced when she was really little. Her father remarried a lady from the Philippines, and Jessica lived there from the time she was four years old until she graduated from high school. She actually has an accent. She is no longer considering Juilliard. She plans to move back to the Philippines as soon as she can after the babies are born.
Sometime after the phone call, Jessica texted the social worker and said, "I know I have to decide soon." We really hope that she does. With a strong possibility that these babies will be born early and have to stay in the NICU, we would like to have an idea of what that will look like for us. As soon as she signs the paper giving up her rights, which I have just found out can be anytime after giving birth and only in front of a lawyer not a judge, we will be able to go to the hospital. However, if the babies are in the NICU for 2 months, she could take all that time to still be deciding. I'm trying to be patient and unselfish, but I feel like we need to know one way or another. If those are our children, we should be with them. I said this to the social worker and she said, "You're not their mommy until you're their mommy." This felt a little harsh to me. I mean, are we supposed to just act like none of this is happening? She is wanting to know every detail about us to make sure we will be good parents. I think we wouldn't be very good parents if our attitude was, "Until they're our children, it's not our problem to be concerned with." I am praying for peace in all of this. It's sooo hard, but we knew it would be. Ultimately, we know that God is in control, but right now, waiting for the end result is painful.
So let me recap what we are specifically praying for:
1. Jessica-that she stays healthy, that she can make the right decision, and for her emotional well being.
2. The babies-that they are healthy and can stay longer in the womb.
3. That a decision will be made soon so that we will have some clarity of what all this will look like for us.
4. That if this is going to happen so soon, God will provide what we need financially a lot quicker.
5. For Hudson-that he doesn't feel any of the stress we are going through.
6. For us-that we find peace in the midst of all of this and just enjoy being a family, especially at this wonderful time of year.
Thank you for taking the time to read all of this, and thanks for all the prayers! We really feel loved right now. We are so blessed to be surrounded by such wonderful caring people during this journey!
With Much Love,
Andrea
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Quick Update
I'm typing from my phone so this will be quick! We aren't going to IN tomorrow. We got a call from the agency on Saturday saying that Jessica (birth mom) decided she feels more comfortable with a phone call. No worries! Nothing has changed. She's just not ready to meet. She may never want to meet and that's ok. Lot's of birth mom's never meet the family they choose. Jessica is calling us at 11:00 tomorrow morning. Take a moment then to say a prayer for us! I'll update sometime tomorrow after the call!
Excited and nervous,
Andrea
Excited and nervous,
Andrea
Tuesday, December 7, 2010
We Can't Believe It!
Hello Friends!!
Good News!!!!! We got a call today from the adoption agency. Jessica with the twins has chosen us! My mom and Adam are actually the ones that talked to the agency. Of course, I wasn't at home and my cell phone was in the car charging! As we understand it, Jessica has chosen us, wants to meet us, and her father is no longer an issue. Praise God!!! The plan right now is for us to go to meet her in Evansville, IN next Friday. She wants to meet Hudson, too. So we'll all be going! We are so excited, but we're trying to remember that anything can happen. She can certainly change her mind, but the agency seems really hopeful that it's going to work out. Please pray that it will, and especially pray for us next Friday. We'll be so nervous! Or at least I will!
TWINS! My head is spinning right now! We've been talking about names for the past couple of hours. I think we've got one for sure, but we're trying to decide on the second. Originally, we wanted all "H" names, but we can't find 2 that we like, only one. Suggestions are welcome! We'll also take any advice from anyone with twins. I'm sure we'll need all the help we can get! :)
Thank you so much for all the prayers and support. We hope to have two precious baby boys in March!
Excited and Still Praying,
Andrea
P.S. The home visit went really well. Hudson took the social worker straight to his room, handed her a guitar, sat down at his keyboard, and gave her a four count!!
Good News!!!!! We got a call today from the adoption agency. Jessica with the twins has chosen us! My mom and Adam are actually the ones that talked to the agency. Of course, I wasn't at home and my cell phone was in the car charging! As we understand it, Jessica has chosen us, wants to meet us, and her father is no longer an issue. Praise God!!! The plan right now is for us to go to meet her in Evansville, IN next Friday. She wants to meet Hudson, too. So we'll all be going! We are so excited, but we're trying to remember that anything can happen. She can certainly change her mind, but the agency seems really hopeful that it's going to work out. Please pray that it will, and especially pray for us next Friday. We'll be so nervous! Or at least I will!
TWINS! My head is spinning right now! We've been talking about names for the past couple of hours. I think we've got one for sure, but we're trying to decide on the second. Originally, we wanted all "H" names, but we can't find 2 that we like, only one. Suggestions are welcome! We'll also take any advice from anyone with twins. I'm sure we'll need all the help we can get! :)
Thank you so much for all the prayers and support. We hope to have two precious baby boys in March!
Excited and Still Praying,
Andrea
P.S. The home visit went really well. Hudson took the social worker straight to his room, handed her a guitar, sat down at his keyboard, and gave her a four count!!
Tuesday, November 30, 2010
2 is better than one, right?!!
Hi Friends,
Some of you already know, but a couple of weeks ago we got a call about a girl in Indiana who is pregnant with TWIN boys. I haven't blogged about this one because it gets harder and harder to type it out and then be disappointed. We REALLY need your prayers, though!! This is still almost unbelievable to me. The birth mom, Jessica, is due with twin boys in March. She wants an open adoption, meaning pictures, emails, phone calls, and possibly meeting us. Her biggest priority is that the family go to a non-denominational Christian church. We do!! And are you ready for this? SHE IS A SINGER!! Obviously, music is very important to her so the fact that we are musical is icing on the cake! We have a letter to the birth mom in our profile, but I wrote her a specific letter so that she would know all the things we do to encourage music. Of course, I told her that we would in no way be disappointed if the boys weren't musical at all, but I know it means a lot to her to know that we will be very supportive if they are.
So...I just got off the phone with the adoption agency. We are the ONLY family that she is willing to consider! The problem is, her father wants her to parent. He works the night shift. Jessica has a 7 year old brother that she is having to raise, and her mother is deceased. She's only 17, and she is auditioning for Juilliard in New York. Raising 2 babies would be so difficult for her, and she would definitely not get into Juilliard. There are some other things in this story that I really don't want to share, but it would be terrible for the boys to grow up in that family. PLEASE, PLEASE pray that Jessica's father will change his mind. Since she's 17, he may have the right to get the boys himself. I'm not sure. They aren't speaking right now, but they are supposed to go to church together on Sunday. Since she's not due until March, this may be a roller coaster ride for us until then. Just keep us in your prayers!! I guess we'll have to have two puzzles now so buy some pieces if you haven't already! :)
Also, pray for us this afternoon. The social worker doing our home study is making the actual "home" visit at 2:30. Our house has never been so clean! She's really coming to make sure it's safe and to meet Hudson, though. I hope she's ready for a concert! I'll let you know how it goes.
Thanks for keeping up with our journey!
Praying Without Ceasing,
Andrea
Some of you already know, but a couple of weeks ago we got a call about a girl in Indiana who is pregnant with TWIN boys. I haven't blogged about this one because it gets harder and harder to type it out and then be disappointed. We REALLY need your prayers, though!! This is still almost unbelievable to me. The birth mom, Jessica, is due with twin boys in March. She wants an open adoption, meaning pictures, emails, phone calls, and possibly meeting us. Her biggest priority is that the family go to a non-denominational Christian church. We do!! And are you ready for this? SHE IS A SINGER!! Obviously, music is very important to her so the fact that we are musical is icing on the cake! We have a letter to the birth mom in our profile, but I wrote her a specific letter so that she would know all the things we do to encourage music. Of course, I told her that we would in no way be disappointed if the boys weren't musical at all, but I know it means a lot to her to know that we will be very supportive if they are.
So...I just got off the phone with the adoption agency. We are the ONLY family that she is willing to consider! The problem is, her father wants her to parent. He works the night shift. Jessica has a 7 year old brother that she is having to raise, and her mother is deceased. She's only 17, and she is auditioning for Juilliard in New York. Raising 2 babies would be so difficult for her, and she would definitely not get into Juilliard. There are some other things in this story that I really don't want to share, but it would be terrible for the boys to grow up in that family. PLEASE, PLEASE pray that Jessica's father will change his mind. Since she's 17, he may have the right to get the boys himself. I'm not sure. They aren't speaking right now, but they are supposed to go to church together on Sunday. Since she's not due until March, this may be a roller coaster ride for us until then. Just keep us in your prayers!! I guess we'll have to have two puzzles now so buy some pieces if you haven't already! :)
Also, pray for us this afternoon. The social worker doing our home study is making the actual "home" visit at 2:30. Our house has never been so clean! She's really coming to make sure it's safe and to meet Hudson, though. I hope she's ready for a concert! I'll let you know how it goes.
Thanks for keeping up with our journey!
Praying Without Ceasing,
Andrea
Monday, November 15, 2010
Moving On...
I talked to the lawyer this afternoon. Everything looked like we wanted it to from a legal stand point. The lawyer called Tim, the birth father, and he told him that they had already chosen a family. We are of course disappointed, but we're so thankful that we found out now and not way into it. We got all of our medical tests done today. I have my individual interview with our social worker tomorrow morning. Things are still moving a long, and we are still excited that God has a plan for us!
Today Hudson asked me for some money. I gave him 50 cents, and he told me that he was giving it for the baby. I asked him who he was giving it to and he said, "I'm giving it to God. Will He be at our house today?". Oh, he fills my heart with joy! I'm thanking God for those little moments, and thanking Him that He WILL be at our house today and everyday through it all!
Much Love,
Andrea
Today Hudson asked me for some money. I gave him 50 cents, and he told me that he was giving it for the baby. I asked him who he was giving it to and he said, "I'm giving it to God. Will He be at our house today?". Oh, he fills my heart with joy! I'm thanking God for those little moments, and thanking Him that He WILL be at our house today and everyday through it all!
Much Love,
Andrea
Thursday, November 11, 2010
Lots To Report!!!
Hi Friends,
It's been a while since we've had any news, but we finally have something to share! So, we were never called about the baby in Indiana due December 8th. However, because of that situation, we have done everything to get our home study done as quickly as possible. It should be done in about 4 weeks! We're using an agency here that has a lot less requirements, and it's less expensive. We had our first home study interview on Monday. It went really well, and we left feeling a lot less overwhelmed about the process.
On our way home from the interview, I received a call from a friend about another baby. Her husband is a Christian music artist. While he was signing autographs a few weeks ago, he met a guy named Tim who said his girlfriend was pregnant, and they are planning on choosing adoption for the baby. My friend's husband told Tim that he knew a family that might be interested and got his contact information. At the time, he was talking about his family because they are wanting to adopt, but Tim doesn't know that. They had an attorney call and talk to the him about everything, but they have decided that it's not the right time for them to adopt a baby. They have let the attorney know that they aren't moving forward, but they want him to tell Tim that WE are the family that they are recommending! I spoke with the attorney today. The baby will be born in Nebraska so right now the attorney is finding out if he will be able to represent us. We're hoping to do this without an agency. I'm supposed to call on Monday to see if he will be able to do it. If so, he will call Tim and let him know about us. If not, he will give us Tim's contact information, and we will decide what to do from there. The baby is a boy due January 24th, and Nebraska has great adoption laws. Papers can be signed within 48 hours of birth, and it is irrevocable at that point!
In the midst of all of this, I have called the agency in Indiana to let them know that another couple might be considering us. They said that the birth mother that they showed our profile to has still not made a decision. The mother of the birth father does not want the baby to be adopted. The birth mother and father are both 15. The mother of the birth father is creating a lot of drama and making this all very stressful for the birth mother. The agency said that it's a really bad situation and to pray for the birth parents to choose adoption. Anything is possible, but I am very doubtful that baby will be placed with us. However, as I said before, that situation has put us in a much better place in the process than we were, and we are thankful for that!!
Of course, we are trying to not get too excited, but this does seem a little more promising than the Indiana situation. To my knowledge, the couple in Nebraska have not considered any families, yet. However, they have contacted an agency so they will probably look at some other profiles. We do have a really good recommendation, though. :) Really, God is in control, and we have faith in His plan for us! Please pray for our patience and peace right now. It's really hard to not be anxious.
We have lots of puzzle pieces left so please get one! We hope to have names on all of them! Click on the "donate" button below to buy your piece. Also, several of our friends with home businesses have been so generous in wanting to help us raise money by giving part of their proceeds to the adoption.
I will be having a Pampered Chef party next Thursday, and anyone can come. If you can't and want to order something here's the order instructions from the Pampered Chef sales director:
If you can't attend and would like to order. You can contact Andrea or you can order online at www.pamperedchef.biz/betsyturnage and click on order online and then type in Andrea Davis as the host and SHOP AWAY!
Another friend is a Thirty One consultant. Her website is http://www.mythirtyone.com/JenHartman/. Such cute stuff! I'm not exactly sure what the instructions are for ordering from her. Just let me know if you want something, and I will find out.
Today, a Mary Kay friend of mine said that she would give me 100% of the profits from any orders that I can get. Just go to www.marykay.com and look at their products. Let me know if you want to order, and I will get it done!
I also have a friend who wants to do some fund raising for us through Tupperware. They have a special selection specifically for fund raising. However, I don't see how to view it online. I'll find out!
Sooooo, do all your Christmas shopping right here! :)
THANK YOU SO MUCH to those who have already supported us!! We feel so loved and blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives.
Much Love,
Andrea
It's been a while since we've had any news, but we finally have something to share! So, we were never called about the baby in Indiana due December 8th. However, because of that situation, we have done everything to get our home study done as quickly as possible. It should be done in about 4 weeks! We're using an agency here that has a lot less requirements, and it's less expensive. We had our first home study interview on Monday. It went really well, and we left feeling a lot less overwhelmed about the process.
On our way home from the interview, I received a call from a friend about another baby. Her husband is a Christian music artist. While he was signing autographs a few weeks ago, he met a guy named Tim who said his girlfriend was pregnant, and they are planning on choosing adoption for the baby. My friend's husband told Tim that he knew a family that might be interested and got his contact information. At the time, he was talking about his family because they are wanting to adopt, but Tim doesn't know that. They had an attorney call and talk to the him about everything, but they have decided that it's not the right time for them to adopt a baby. They have let the attorney know that they aren't moving forward, but they want him to tell Tim that WE are the family that they are recommending! I spoke with the attorney today. The baby will be born in Nebraska so right now the attorney is finding out if he will be able to represent us. We're hoping to do this without an agency. I'm supposed to call on Monday to see if he will be able to do it. If so, he will call Tim and let him know about us. If not, he will give us Tim's contact information, and we will decide what to do from there. The baby is a boy due January 24th, and Nebraska has great adoption laws. Papers can be signed within 48 hours of birth, and it is irrevocable at that point!
In the midst of all of this, I have called the agency in Indiana to let them know that another couple might be considering us. They said that the birth mother that they showed our profile to has still not made a decision. The mother of the birth father does not want the baby to be adopted. The birth mother and father are both 15. The mother of the birth father is creating a lot of drama and making this all very stressful for the birth mother. The agency said that it's a really bad situation and to pray for the birth parents to choose adoption. Anything is possible, but I am very doubtful that baby will be placed with us. However, as I said before, that situation has put us in a much better place in the process than we were, and we are thankful for that!!
Of course, we are trying to not get too excited, but this does seem a little more promising than the Indiana situation. To my knowledge, the couple in Nebraska have not considered any families, yet. However, they have contacted an agency so they will probably look at some other profiles. We do have a really good recommendation, though. :) Really, God is in control, and we have faith in His plan for us! Please pray for our patience and peace right now. It's really hard to not be anxious.
We have lots of puzzle pieces left so please get one! We hope to have names on all of them! Click on the "donate" button below to buy your piece. Also, several of our friends with home businesses have been so generous in wanting to help us raise money by giving part of their proceeds to the adoption.
I will be having a Pampered Chef party next Thursday, and anyone can come. If you can't and want to order something here's the order instructions from the Pampered Chef sales director:
If you can't attend and would like to order. You can contact Andrea or you can order online at www.pamperedchef.biz/betsyturnage and click on order online and then type in Andrea Davis as the host and SHOP AWAY!
Another friend is a Thirty One consultant. Her website is http://www.mythirtyone.com/JenHartman/. Such cute stuff! I'm not exactly sure what the instructions are for ordering from her. Just let me know if you want something, and I will find out.
Today, a Mary Kay friend of mine said that she would give me 100% of the profits from any orders that I can get. Just go to www.marykay.com and look at their products. Let me know if you want to order, and I will get it done!
I also have a friend who wants to do some fund raising for us through Tupperware. They have a special selection specifically for fund raising. However, I don't see how to view it online. I'll find out!
Sooooo, do all your Christmas shopping right here! :)
THANK YOU SO MUCH to those who have already supported us!! We feel so loved and blessed to have so many wonderful people in our lives.
Much Love,
Andrea
Monday, October 25, 2010
All I know right now...
In my last blog, I said that if we didn't hear anything Thursday night, we probably weren't picked. Well, it seems I don't ask enough questions to even know how this works! First of all, I got an email on Friday saying that they got all my updates and would show the birth mom. I don't even think she saw anything on Thursday night. I just got off the phone with the agency secretary. She said that she wasn't sure that they even looked at profiles at the last appointment. She hasn't spoken to the lady who is working with the birth mom, but she said that if someone was chosen, she would have been notified. It seems to me that at this point, she hasn't made a decision, and we haven't been ruled out. I do know now that she wants a childless family, but the only childless families they have don't want open adoptions. I guess she will have to decide which is more important to her. We haven't written our letter to the birth mom, yet. We're going to get that done today. Hopefully, we can convince her or any other birth mom that we will love all our children the same. We also hope they understand that even though they won't be choosing a family with no children, they are choosing a family with a little boy whose parents can't give him any siblings, and he really wants some! We will be called as soon as they know if we are chosen or not chosen so NO call means NO news. I will keep repeating that to myself! Thank you again for all the prayers and support. We feel very loved!
Patiently Waiting,
Andrea
Patiently Waiting,
Andrea
Thursday, October 21, 2010
Still Waiting...
Well, here's the deal...We received the application in the mail for the agency in Indiana on Saturday. I had it all filled out by Tuesday night, except for a few things I had questions about. I called the agency yesterday morning to have my questions answered. I spoke to the agency director, Nancy, and the first think I asked was about putting on the application that we were ok with an open adoption. Nancy told me that she had a young girl right now wanting an open adoption, and she has not chosen a family, yet. She's having a boy in 6 weeks. Nancy also said that she would start a profile for us as soon as she got the initial application and picture in, and she would show it to the birth mom. We were not expecting our profile to be shown this quickly! Our other agency will not show our profile until everything is done. The birth mom had an appointment tonight at 6:00. I think she was looking at a few profiles. I scanned all of our paperwork before I sent it in so that I could email it all. By 6:00 tonight, the agency had the application, our testimonies, and pictures. They told me that they would definitely show us. I assumed that they would call us and let us know one way or the other. However, we haven't heard from them. We feel like that if the girl chose us, they would have called us, as soon as her appointment was over. We don't know how long she was there, though. They may think it's too late to call. We would be very surprised if this first opportunity went through. We're really just feeling like this is God's way of telling us that this agency might be a better fit for us. No matter what, we know that God has a plan, and His plan is the only one we're interested in!
Stay Tuned...
Andrea
Stay Tuned...
Andrea
Friday, October 15, 2010
Lots going on!
Hi Everyone!
We've had such a busy couple of weeks! Sunday before last, one of my best friends set up appointments for me to take pictures of 5 families whose sitting fees were donated to our church for the adoption. ALL money from my photography business from now until the baby comes will go towards the adoption. The sitting fees can be written to the church so that it's a tax deductible donation. Time to take pictures for your Christmas cards! Anyway, I am so appreciative to those that were a part of the shoot on Sunday. I spent all last week getting ready for the French Market at church and the yard sale. Both were successful! Thank you so much to all that donated time and items!! A friend of mine told me that I needed to put a picture of the items that I sold at the French Market so I've attached one. I have lots of inventory left. I'm hoping to have a another booth set up soon for a mom's night out at a school here in Franklin. I'll let you know! I'll also be set up at a friend's home in Franklin during a jewelry sale on October 26th at 10:00am-12:00pm and 6:00pm-8:00pm. Let me know if you're interested in coming, and I will give you more info.
In other news, we are now going to be using an additional agency in Indiana. I got an email from a college friend who is going through them. There are several babies needing families right now. The first of them is due on December 28th. We are getting our profiles together quickly because they are already showing the birth moms the profiles. Who knows? We could have a baby a lot sooner than we think! We're not getting our hopes up, though. If one of those babies is not the one God has chosen for us, then we will wait patiently. God has already been so evident in so much that has happened this week. We continue to put all of this in His hands and rest in the fact that He has a plan for our family.
We went to more adoption training last night in Kentucky. Lots of information to absorb! One thing that really stood out to us was the fact that we have to throw our "Baby Wise" book away! This will be hard for us because it worked so well with Hudson, but our new baby will need to be nurtured in such a different way. This nurturing also includes that fact that no one should help take care of the baby for at least the first 3 months but 6 months is recommended. This is important for the baby's attachment to us. We have so much help with all our family so that will be hard! However, we'll need lots of help taking care of Hudson, while we take care of the baby.
We have had so much support already and are so thankful for it! 90 puzzles pieces have been bought. There are 1,410 to go though, so we would love for anyone who doesn't have one yet to get one
Much Love,
Andrea (Adam and Hudson, too!)
Thursday, October 7, 2010
WOW!
We have gotten so much support already, and we feel so blessed!! A big thank you for all the prayers and donations!
I wasn't sure how Hudson would react to having a yard sale with some of his toys in it. I explained to him what we are doing, and he said, "I want to have my own yard sale with all my stuff". I guess he will do just about anything to have a brother AND (he says) a sister. I asked if he had to choose, what would he want. He says a sister, and he wants to name her Dora! Well, a sister is possible. Dora...not so much.
Well, I have to get back to work on pricing items. Really just wanted to say a big THANK YOU for all the support!![
Much Love,
Andrea
I wasn't sure how Hudson would react to having a yard sale with some of his toys in it. I explained to him what we are doing, and he said, "I want to have my own yard sale with all my stuff". I guess he will do just about anything to have a brother AND (he says) a sister. I asked if he had to choose, what would he want. He says a sister, and he wants to name her Dora! Well, a sister is possible. Dora...not so much.
Well, I have to get back to work on pricing items. Really just wanted to say a big THANK YOU for all the support!![
Much Love,
Andrea
Tuesday, October 5, 2010
Welcome To Our Journey!
Hi Friends, Family, and Followers,
We have decided to start a blog so that everyone can stay up to date on our adoption journey. The blog site is "HudsonHopes" because Hudson hopes for a baby brother or sister. Well, really he wants both. :)
For anyone who doesn't know our story, here it is in a nutshell, a very small nutshell...
A little over 2 years after having our son Hudson, who we now know is a complete miracle, we started trying to have a second child. We were expecting 2 times. The first was an abdominal pregnancy. The baby was attached to the outside of the uterus and had to be surgically removed. The second pregnancy also ended in surgery. The doctors thought it was a tubal pregnancy, but they did not find the baby in the tube. However, they determined that pregnancy was no longer an option because the ovary, tube, and uterus are compacted too close together.
We have always wanted to adopt. It's just happening a little sooner now! We are adopting domestically through Bethany Christian Services. They are a very large agency, and we are choosing to make ourselves available to a child anywhere in the U.S., not just Tennessee. Right now, our preliminary and formal applications have been approved. We have been to an orientation meeting and are starting to fill out all the home study paperwork. There's lots of it! We will start 6 weeks of training on October 14th. If everything goes smoothly, we should be on a waiting list in 3-4 months. Once we're on the list, it's just a matter of being chosen by an expecting mother. We've been told that only about 1 in 4 moms actually go through with the adoption. We know that there may be some disappointment. We are praying that we can be patient and know that God is bigger than all of this.
Another piece of this journey is, of course, raising the money. The total for our adoption is $25,000.00. We have lots of ideas! For our local friends we are selling a picture called "My Franklin". It's a collage of 25 of your favorite places. Hopefully, we'll be able to expand our towns soon! On Friday, we'll have a booth of personalized gifts set up at The French Market at Fellowship Bible Church from 4pm-9pm. We're also having a yard sale this Saturday from 8am-12pm. If you have anything you would like to donate, bring it on by! As soon as we can get a spot, we'll be having a pancake breakfast at Applebee's in Spring Hill. They do it every Saturday morning to raise money for all types of charities. Tickets will be $6.00. Stay tuned for that...
Our biggest fund raiser right now is something everybody can be a part of. A man at the orientation we went to gave us this idea. He and his wife adopted a little girl from China and did this. We have purchased a 1500 piece puzzle of Noah's Ark. We are asking that you purchase a piece for at least $5.00. We are going to put your name on your piece and on a list. The puzzle will be framed and given to our child with all the names of the people that helped he or she be a part of our family. We have a Pay Pal account set up. All you have to do is click on the button below and purchase your piece. It's that easy! However, if you would like to make a tax deductible donation, you can write a check to Fellowship Bible Church with "I Choose You" in the memo line. Mail it to us at 3154 Winberry Drive, Franklin, TN, 37064, and we will make sure it goes towards our adoption.
Thank you so much for all your support. Most of all, we need your prayers! We'll continue to keep you updated on what's going on!
Much Love,
Adam, Andrea, and Hudson
We have decided to start a blog so that everyone can stay up to date on our adoption journey. The blog site is "HudsonHopes" because Hudson hopes for a baby brother or sister. Well, really he wants both. :)
For anyone who doesn't know our story, here it is in a nutshell, a very small nutshell...
A little over 2 years after having our son Hudson, who we now know is a complete miracle, we started trying to have a second child. We were expecting 2 times. The first was an abdominal pregnancy. The baby was attached to the outside of the uterus and had to be surgically removed. The second pregnancy also ended in surgery. The doctors thought it was a tubal pregnancy, but they did not find the baby in the tube. However, they determined that pregnancy was no longer an option because the ovary, tube, and uterus are compacted too close together.
We have always wanted to adopt. It's just happening a little sooner now! We are adopting domestically through Bethany Christian Services. They are a very large agency, and we are choosing to make ourselves available to a child anywhere in the U.S., not just Tennessee. Right now, our preliminary and formal applications have been approved. We have been to an orientation meeting and are starting to fill out all the home study paperwork. There's lots of it! We will start 6 weeks of training on October 14th. If everything goes smoothly, we should be on a waiting list in 3-4 months. Once we're on the list, it's just a matter of being chosen by an expecting mother. We've been told that only about 1 in 4 moms actually go through with the adoption. We know that there may be some disappointment. We are praying that we can be patient and know that God is bigger than all of this.
Another piece of this journey is, of course, raising the money. The total for our adoption is $25,000.00. We have lots of ideas! For our local friends we are selling a picture called "My Franklin". It's a collage of 25 of your favorite places. Hopefully, we'll be able to expand our towns soon! On Friday, we'll have a booth of personalized gifts set up at The French Market at Fellowship Bible Church from 4pm-9pm. We're also having a yard sale this Saturday from 8am-12pm. If you have anything you would like to donate, bring it on by! As soon as we can get a spot, we'll be having a pancake breakfast at Applebee's in Spring Hill. They do it every Saturday morning to raise money for all types of charities. Tickets will be $6.00. Stay tuned for that...
Our biggest fund raiser right now is something everybody can be a part of. A man at the orientation we went to gave us this idea. He and his wife adopted a little girl from China and did this. We have purchased a 1500 piece puzzle of Noah's Ark. We are asking that you purchase a piece for at least $5.00. We are going to put your name on your piece and on a list. The puzzle will be framed and given to our child with all the names of the people that helped he or she be a part of our family. We have a Pay Pal account set up. All you have to do is click on the button below and purchase your piece. It's that easy! However, if you would like to make a tax deductible donation, you can write a check to Fellowship Bible Church with "I Choose You" in the memo line. Mail it to us at 3154 Winberry Drive, Franklin, TN, 37064, and we will make sure it goes towards our adoption.
Thank you so much for all your support. Most of all, we need your prayers! We'll continue to keep you updated on what's going on!
Much Love,
Adam, Andrea, and Hudson
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